IF YOU ARE READING THIS, IT MEANS
YOU ARE NOW SMART ENOUGH TO ACCESS
MY BLOG. YOU ARE NOW A MAN.
AS SUCH, YOU ARE ENTITLED TO WHAT IS
INSIDE. I KNOW YOU WILL TAKE THIS
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.
I wonder what President Lincoln would think about there being a movie about him killing vampires.
“whats a movie”
i hate the phrase “life is short” because life is literally the longest thing that any of us will ever experience
(Source: shavingryansprivates, via toasterama)
I was trying to explain to my grandma what being bisexual meant and saying that I looked at ladies butts and she was all
"You’re not GAY everyone checks out ladies rear ends" and my sister was like "I have never wanted to look at a ladies butt"
Later my grandma called me and was like “I THINK I MIGHT BE A LITTLE GAY”
BEST GRANDMA STORY
remember in 2012 when that lady tried restoring that painting of jesus
science has proven that:
- blood isf actually green oxygen just turns it red
- clouds DONT EXIST theyre an optical illusion
- dogs can talk, theyre just too shy
- obama can skateboard
- onion;s are fucking disgusting
- youre a shrimp
- everyone is a shrimp